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Just Takin' Up Space

May 29, 2003 11:28 PM EST

This is an article I wrote for my high school newspaper. I liked it so much that I decided I couldn't just throw it away, so I decided to post it here

Originally printed February 2003

I can always tell when the newspaper deadline is approaching, because Jeanne (Editor's note: Jeanne was the co-editor-in-chief that begged me for articles every month) comes to me begging for an article. It’s like clockwork. Usually, I take the time to make an article worth reading, but when she wants TWO articles… Well, then I’ll write anything, as long as it fills up that empty rectangle. What am I, a doctor? I’m a busy guy! (The word “Busy” is open to interpretation.)

In that spirit, here’s a couple of short news briefs that you probably won’t see on MSNBC:

And that, noble reader, is the news.