Current Events

I was approached recently by the Board of Internet Health, and they told me that my site was polluting the World Wide Web. They said I had two options: Give the site a little dignity, or shut down. Permanently. Naturally, I chose the first option. I considered a few things--Renaissance art, opera mp3's, restaurant reviews--but nothing sounded good. So eventually, Richi said, "Why don't you just do news?" A few insults and a couple jars of Mike'N'Ikes later, I agreed with him, hence this page. Keep in mind that, and Lord and Master of All Things Boredom Zone, I claim the right to bend the news and give my personal opinion as I please.

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June 17, 2004
Ryan Releases Big News

January 14, 2004
I am Not a Loser

January 8, 2004
Irony Redefined in England

December 19, 2003
Police Arrest World's Drunkest Man

May 30, 2003
Marlins Unfairly Fined

May 30, 2003
Prom: Society's Deadly Plague

May 29, 2003
Just Takin' Up Space

January 27, 2003
No More Stinking up Buses in Oregon Town

January 16, 2003
Drunken Guy Eats Friend

January 7, 2003
The Boredom Zone Travel:
Reavis Ranch

November 23, 2002
Foosball Game puts Ryan Out of Commission

November 21, 2002
James Bond Charged with Thousands of Crimes

November 18, 2002
Ryan Declared Better than Richi

November 14, 2002
Evil Warlord Wins Arizona Governor's Election

November 10, 2002
UN Lets Bush have is Way with Iraq

November 9, 2002
AZ Governor's Race Still Undecided